Kingdom Hearts III
by The Fanfic Phantom
Summary: The comedic tales of Sora, Riku, and Kairi, and everyone else you could imagine being in a ridiculous story, where no one is safe. Not even Riku's silver hair!
1. The Letter

Kingdom Hearts III

A Fan Fic. Written by the Fan Fic Phantom

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Square-Enix or Walt Disney, or Touch Stone pictures, or twentieth Century Fox, or New Line Cinema, or Lucas Arts, or any crap from George Lucas, or DreamWorks._

CHAPTER ONE  
The letter.

**IT** was late afternoon, the sun just barely setting. Sora and Riku were at their usual spot, on Destiny Islands, discussing their most recent adventure. "Say Riku…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we'll ever get married?" questioned Sora.

"You? I don't know… Me, on the other hand, well…"

"What do you mean?!?" growled Sora. Ever since they returned from The World That Never Was, Sora had had a temper problem. Suddenly, Kairi, the girl Sora loved and had a crush on (and Riku the same), came running towards them. "What's up?" Sora asked, putting his hand on her shoulder, and then moving it down her arm. Riku stared at him.

The girl held out her hand to the two, in it a bottle with a letter with the king's seal. "That's the king's seal!" Exclaimed both Riku, and Sora. Kairi opened the bottle, and handed the letter to Sora, they all read what it said:

"_If you find this letter then give it to Sora, Riku, or Kairi… Unless of course you are Sora, Riku, or Kairi._

_-_

_-_

_-_

_-_

_Anyways, pay attention guys, because I'm only going to write this once. The Cornerstone of Light can do a bunch of crap, like take you back in time, make Illusions, show the past, present, and what __**can**__ happen in the future… And cook really good hotdogs._

_But that's not the point. Minney, my hot spanking wife and queen, was cooking me a corndog, when the Cornerstone suddenly gave her random vision. It does this often, and do you know what the vision was of?_

_She saw… New Worlds, full of Heartless, and new types of demons, and such. She saw creatures in slavery, and Pigs that have Triangles on their hands, she also CLAIMED to see another Keyblade bearer, but we know that's not true. (Chuckle, chuckle.)_

_Sora, Riku, or Kairi, or who ever is reading this letter when they're not supposed to, get ready. In three days…maybe five, I'm going to pick you up for another trip. And I do say this trip will be much longer, and dangerous, and sexy, than the other ones._

_Your faithful servant/ Supreme ruler,_

_-_

_KMM"_

Sora looked at Kairi's face, and then at Riku's. And then he pulled out a mirror and looked at his own.

Kairi's face was worried; she loved any cute living thing. The thought of tortured creatures must have broken her heart, and she didn't want to go on another trip. She just got back; she wanted to be with Sora, but at the same time she wanted to be with Riku.

Riku had a face that spoke out _"bring it on."_ He wasn't worried about anything happening. He knew it would come out in the end all perfect. That's how everything had always been for him. Especially when it came to his hair. And he planned it to stay that way.

Sora looked into the small mirror he pulled out of his pocket. He had received it from his mom as a welcome back gift. Sora's face looked how it always does. He was a little excited to go on another adventure. But, then again, he just got back from the one before this new one. And what would his parents think? Would they hate him? And what was that? Sora looked at his chin and saw a pimple. "Oh great," he said out loud.

"I'll say. This'll be fun," replied Riku.

"Fun? Is that what this is about? You want to have more fun!?! It doesn't sound fun at all! It's like that horror movie we were scared of in third grade!" Kairi interrupted Riku. She was frustrated, and didn't want to go.

"No, this is better," Riku smiled. That's right: he actually smiled!

"Oh, I can't believe it's on my face! I have to pop it!" shouted Sora, as he started making an attempt to pop the hideousness on his face.

"Sora… It's just a pimple," chuckled Riku. And, yes, he was laughing. He apparently was in a better mood, now that he could smell the salty air, and swim in the water, and be with all his friends.

"Got it!" exclaimed Sora. He showed them his face to confirm that his pimple had been annihilated.

"You're so gross," said Kairi, sticking her tongue out at Sora.

"Well, it's like five in the afternoon now. And my boat has a hole in it, so I have to swim back home. So I've gotta go," mumbled Riku walking away.

"Oh, we can ride together in the same boat home, Riku. Mine's a little big anyways," Kairi replied with a smile, following him.

Sora watched the two walk away, his jaw dropped. Kairi went with Riku! They were talking. Who knows what they were talking about…? They could be talking about Sora.

"_**So Riku, do you like me?"**_

"_**Of course, you're sexy. I love you, ever since I first laid eyes on you. I've wanted to kiss you."**_

_**Kairi blushed. Then she looked at Riku, him doing the same. She closed her eyes. And they started to make out!**_

"NOOOOOOO!" Shouted Sora, he was on his knees; he looked up at the sky. It was just his stupid imagination. _"Thank goodness…"_ He thought. Riku and Kairi were both half way to the home island by now, so they didn't hear Sora scream.

Sora re-read the letter again, and again_. "Chuckle, Chuckle? When we meet the king, I'm going to speak to him about writing properly."_ Sora thought. He got in his boat, shortly and went to the Island.

"_I wonder what's for dinner,_" wondered Sora in his boat. Halfway toward the island, Sora realized something strange…He was in Riku's boat with a hole in it.

A/N: That's the first chapter of my incredible story, please R&R. I don't care if you flame me. Just don't go too far.


	2. The Journey Begins

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Square-Enix or Walt Disney, or Touch Stone pictures, or twentieth Century Fox, or New Line Cinema, or Lucas Arts, or any crap from George Lucas, or DreamWorks._

CHAPTER TWO

The Journey Begins.

**IT** was only two days later when Sora, Riku, and Kairi were all at the small island, Riku sitting next to Kairi with his arm around her shoulder. Sora sat alone. The three of them were sitting against The Paupu Tree, trying to name and count all the stars in the sky. "I'll bet you munny, that one is Wonderland." Sora said.

"You're head is a Wonderland, Sora," Kairi laughed. Riku laughed too.

"Yeah…" Sora pretended to laugh. But, deep down in his heart, he was offended that Kairi would say such a thing to him. He always thought that they shared something together; but apparently not.

"Just think… all of those worlds… We've only been to so many… Yet, to all those... it's nothing." Riku was speaking; he was obviously trying to be dramatic.

"Man! What are you talking about?" interrupted Sora by yelling. He hated when Riku tried talking like this. It was his way of _"flirting"_ with Kairi.

"I'm just trying to give us some motivation!" Riku shouted back.

"'I'm just trying to give us some motivation!' Man! When you going to grow up?"

"I'm older and hotter than you!"

"Is that a challenge?"

_Here we go again…_ thought Kairi, she was sick of the two always shouting. Being stuck together for two days in The World That Never Was must have really gotten to them, because now they really hated each other.

"You always try to be sexy!" shouted Sora.

"Because I _am_ sexy!" Riku shouted back.

"You boo-"

"Stop it!" Kairi screamed at the top of her lungs. "When are you two going to learn to get along? We all used to love each other! Remember?"

"No," replied the two of them at the exact same time.

"Well, I do," she started walking home. "I'm going home. The King should be here tomorrow, so we all need to rest. Good night." She walked away and got in her boat.

The next day, Sora arrived at the Island. Kairi was standing at the end of the docks. Sora walked up to her, making sure Riku wasn't around. "'Morning!" he said to her cheerfully.

"Good morning, Sora," she replied with a smile. Then Sora wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a hug. He had to make sure Riku wasn't watching.

"What are you two doing?" There was a voice from behind Sora. _Darn it! It's Riku! But how?!? How did he find us!?! _Thought Sora, releasing Kairi from his grip he turned around…to see a girl. Not a boy.

It was Selphie, one of Kairi's good friends. She was the same age as Kairi, but not as hot; and Sora and Riku didn't like her…Come to think of it, no guys liked her. She was always dreaming what it would be like to be in an old romantic movie. "Nothing. Just saying good morning, that's all," Sora replied with a fake smile.

"If that's how you say good morning… Then you must kiss her when you say good night!" said Selphie with a smile. She sighed. "It's so romantic. I wish I had a guy in my life." She ran off to go about her business.

Kairi looked at Sora with confusion, and asked, "What's with the hugs?"

"I'm just getting ready for the long trip to come. After all, you're not coming." Sora chuckled, and brushed some dirt of his shoulders.

"What? But I've prepared for this!" she cried. "Sora, you can't do this!"

"Oh, but I can. You see, I have the Keyblade, so I get supreme power over you!" He started to laugh.

"That's dumb! I have a Keyblade too!" Kairi pulled out the Keyblade she had obtained from Riku in The World That Never Was. Sora gasped; he never knew about this blade that she had somehow obtained out of nowhere.

"W-when did you get that?" Sora struggled to say the words.

"I gave it to her," Riku replied, walking up to them, carrying his bags, a fake cigar in his mouth. "So, Sora, how long did you hug her?" he whispered into Sora's ear, as he came near him.

Sora turned pale, and gasped again. _"How did he know about that?_" he mulled over in his mind, suspiciously. "Uhhhh… I don't know what you're talking about, Riku," Sora lied. He smiled at the thought of Riku being such a fool to believe such a simple lie.

"_Does he think I'm stupid? Selphie told me everything," _thought Riku.

"Hey, Riku," smiled Kairi, hugging Riku.

"How are you doing?" he replied.

Kairi smiled at Riku. He was nicer than Sora. And his hair was sexy. Seriously, who has white hair?

"Good."

"You ready to go—".

Sora interrupted Riku, "Hey, I'm still here!!" He frowned. They were so mean to him. They always started talking about him, right in front of him. Now it was time for Sora to get revenge. "Yeah, well, Riku needs a hair cut!" He did it. He said something to insult Riku. Now Kairi would fall for Sora.

"What are you talking about?" They both asked at the exact same time.

"Never mind…" mumbled Sora.

"Look!" exclaimed Kairi pointing at the sky. A strange hover craft was in sight, it did several twists and turns, and made the sound of a broken car horn.

"It's a bird, ya!" shouted Wakka, running to see what was happening.

"No, it's a seagull!" interrupted Tidus, also running to the beach. Everyone stopped what they were doing. They looked at Tidus.

"A seagull is a bird, man." replied Wakka, throwing a blitzball at Tidus' face.

"No! It's Blacksmith Man!" shouted the town's blacksmith. Once again, everyone looked at him.

"Take your pills," said Sora. Everyone gasped at the comment. Kairi almost cried, but Riku comforted her.

"It's the Gummi Ship!" exclaimed Kairi. Everyone agreed, leaving with disappointment that it wasn't a bird, or seagull, or Blacksmith Man… Everyone except for Riku, Sora, and Kairi. Riku's eyes gleamed with joy; he had never been on the ship, and, according to Sora, it had a killer stereo system. But the killer system sounded more like it was a dying duck.

"Goofy, steer it to the land!" shouted Donald.

Goofy carefully tried to steer the Gummi Ship towards the Island, but the turbulence was so great he crashed into a rock.

"What are you doing you big palooka?!?"

"Garwsh, Donald, it's harder than it looks," chuckled Goofy.

"It wouldn't be so _hard_ if you didn't try to look at yourself blowing your nose in the mirror and drive at the same time! Now we've crashed!"

"Cool it, you guys. We've surprisingly arrived in one piece. Now, let's go say hi to Sora and the other two freaks!" said Mickey.

"Yay!" replied Donald and Goofy at the exact same time.

The three jumped out of the Gummi Ship and swam to the shore, where Sora, Riku, and Kairi were. Donald and Goofy went so fast that the King fell behind trying to catch up with them. The two of them jumped on top of Sora. It had been a month since they last saw Sora, but it felt like years. They missed him; especially Donald, he had to spend time with his scary wife, Daisy. She always wanted more out of him. He'd rather be with Sora and Goofy on a quest than with his wife. And eat donuts.

"Get off of me! What's wrong with you two?!?" shouted Sora, trying to push the two off of him. Donald and Goofy quickly jumped off of Sora.

"Garwsh, Sora we were just happy to see ya, that's all. It's been awhile." mumbled Goofy, his voice was sad.

"Yeah, we just wanted to say hi," muttered Donald.

"Yeah? Well, next time _say_ hi," replied Sora, standing up, and brushing more sand off his clothes. He was now grumpy, he always became like this when Riku was around. Sora had to make sure Kairi was his and his alone.

"Well, we all ready to go?" asked the King, finally catching up and meeting the crew. He was soaked to the rat-bone, and must have swallowed two gallons of salt water.

"I am," said Riku and Kairi at the same time. They looked at each other in the eyes, and blushed. Then they looked at the King, at the exact same time.

"I know I am," said Sora proudly.

"We are," said Donald and Goofy.

"Yes, I know you two are ready. You were ready three weeks ago." The King frowned, "I feel like we left someone behind on the ship."

"You did." There was a small voice from the ground. Everyone looked down, there was a small cricket. He was wearing a suit, and had a top hat on. He hid the binky in his mouth behind his back.

"Ah, I hate this guy!" shouted Sora. Everyone looked at him, to signal him to shut up.

"Ah, Sora, I see you still got that sense of humor," laughed the Cricket. His pupils were irregular. But that's not important.

"Who are you?" asked Riku and Kairi at the same time.

"Oh, my name's Jiminy Cricket. I'm a cricket," Jiminy replied with a smile, he took off his hat and bowed down. He stared at the ground. "Whoa…"

_"Well at least he has manners... But that is still gross," _Kairi thought.

"Great, we all know each other. Let's go: if we're going to arrive at the Castle on time, we've got leave now," Mickey interrupted the conversation, madly swinging his hands.

"Right…" said Sora.

They swam to the Gummi Ship, and all got aboard. Of course, Sora helped Kairi get on. And Riku stared at him angrily. _"No one ever helps me,"_ thought Riku.

There was just enough room for everyone to sit in the ship. Mickey had it remodeled so that more people could travel in it; Sora sat up front with Donald and Goofy, and Riku sat next to Kairi, who was next to Mickey. And the King himself sat in the back of the ship, on the toilet. Jiminy sat in a cup holder, staring at the flashing lights with a stupid smile on his face.

After everyone had their seatbelts fastened, and were ready to get off the Island, Mickey made his routine double-check: "Okay, everyone ready?"

"Just get us off this stupid Island!" shouted Sora.

"Sora, relax," said Riku, patting Sora's back.

"You ready, Kairi?" asked Riku.

"Yeah, a little nervous though," she replied.

"Me too." he replied. Of course, he really wasn't. He was just making an attempt to comfort her. And it was working.

"Hey, Donald, can I drive?" asked Sora.

Donald chuckled. "Got a license?"

"Hey! That never stopped you before!" replied Sora angrily.

"There's a new law Sora: you need a license to drive, from now on," said Mickey at the back of the ship. He continued… "Besides, you don't know how to operate this new model of the Gummi Ship: Version 999.908.2" Mickey gave out a small laugh.

"Ah, put a sock in it," Sora barked back.

"Sora's a jerk," whispered Kairi into Riku's ear.

"Yeah," replied Riku quietly.

"Okay, ready or not, we're getting off this planet. Preparing to lift off in five…four…three...two...one…Lift off!" shouted Donald, as he pushing a red button that said **"LIFT OFF." **The ship started to lift off the air very shakily, but eventually, it smoothed out. The ship flew quite nicely through space.

Since it was Kairi's first time in the Gummi ship, and same for Riku, they were panicking. When ever Donald shot at a Heartless ship, Kairi would ask, "Is it supposed to do that?"

And Sora would reply, "Yes, Kairi. If anything were to happen unusual, I would tell you." And he would stare into her eyes. And she would look out the window panicking.

And whenever Donald made a turn, Riku would say: "Slow down! You're going to give me a hernia!"

And Sora would say: "Shut-up Riku! Gosh, you're so annoying."

That's basically how it was until they reached Disney Castle… And when they did, Kairi started screaming really loud because of turbulence, and accidentally caused a crash into the flower garden…

"Aw crap," said Riku and Sora at the same time.

"I'll say! That bush was cut and designed to look like Pete on the toilet." cried Mickey.

"That was some trip!" Jiminy laughed hysterically. "Anybody got water?"

A/N: _Well, that's the second chapter; the third will be up soon._


	3. A Clarification Vindication

CHAPTER THREE

The Clarification Vindication

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Square-Enix or Walt Disney, or Touch Stone pictures. Or twentieth Century Fox, or New Line Cinema, or Lucas Arts, or any crap from George Lucas, or DreamWorks._

**AFTER **everyone yelled at Kairi, everyone departed from the Gummi Ship and went to the King's Throne Room. Kairi was slightly shocked that everyone, including Riku would get so mad at her. "Watch where you're screaming." he angrily told her.

_"But… I didn't do anything…" _

They walked to the Throne Room in silence; they passed through various halls and rooms. Finally, when they reached the Library, Sora broke the silence by turning on his ) Pod. He turned it up to such a high volume, that Kairi could understand the inappropriate remarks that the screamer was saying. She went up to him, and slapped him. "What'd I do?" he asked.

"That music is vile, listen to real music like Utada."

"You listen to that crap?"

Kairi gasped, she turned away to go walk with Riku, she put her arm around his waist. Riku smiled a grin that almost too big for his face. Seeing what she did to Riku, Sora quickly turned his music off and waited for Kairi to come to him. She showed no response to him. They came to a large, large white door. Mickey stopped leading the group through the Castle, he stopped to speak to them.

"Okay you guys, listen. This is the Throne Room. If any of you sit on my Throne, then I'll kill you."

_"I'd like to see him try."_ thought Sora. He was a cocky little boy.

"Can I open the door?" questioned Donald by raising his wing. Mickey nodded yes, and Donald ran to the door.

_"How can a duck open such a large door? The handle must be at least fifty feet in the air…" _Riku thought doubtfully. The duck knocked on the door twice, then a pause. He knocked again and a little door at the bottom, right in front of Donald opened up. Jiminy's eyes widened.

"That was weird." laughed Kairi.

The room was quite large. It had a long red carpet that went down to the end of the room; at each side of the carpet were large statue of Mickey, and Minnie posing in several statues by Michelangelo. The carpet led up some stairs to the throne, which looked like a normal white chair, except the back of the chair rose about ten feet high.

"That's the throne?" questioned Kairi.

"Yup. Isn't it something?" responded Goofy.

"I thought it would be prettier."

"Nope… Minnie used to have one. But Mickey threw it out the window since she made him mad."

"But there are no windows!"

"I know." Goofy chuckled. No one knew why, because that wasn't even funny.

When they reached the throne Mickey sat on the Throne, while everyone else sat in front of him on the floor. "Alright you three, listen carefully to this boring story that I'm going to tell you." said the King.

"Do we have too?" whined Sora, holding his knees.

"Yes. We have to, don't you understand? We must! That's the whole reason the King brought us here." replied Riku, a slight smirk visible on his face.

"I didn't ask you! Riku, you're such a jerk! All you ever do is put me down! Sometimes, I wish the Keyblade would-"

"Stop!" yelled Minnie. "Will you two be quiet so that Mickey can tell his story?"

"Where did you come from?" questioned the both of them.

"The Library," she replied, a slight sign of annoyance in her voice.

"Whatever…" Sora sighed, and shut his mouth.

"Sit next to me guys." smiled Kairi, as she patted the floor around her.

"_How can she smile, when Riku is such a stupid idiot?" _thought Sora.

"_How can she smile, when Sora is so rude?"_ thought Riku.

The two boys sat next to Kairi, Riku on her right Sora on her left. Sora slowly put his arm around Kairi and onto her shoulder. Riku didn't notice, he had his hand on Kairi's leg. Sora noticed that though. How could he? Right in front of him!

Sora raised his hand and was about to insult Riku again, but then the king started to talk at the same exact moment.

"Alright everyone, listen up." He raised both hands in the air, he had white gloves on. They had his symbol on the gloves, which happened to be three circles that met on each other to make a sort of mouse head, one circle on the bottom for his head, and two above for his ears; he also wore a red vest that had his symbol on it too. His pants were blue, with two buckles that were carved into the shape of his head. And his shoes were a yellow with orange stripes. On the sides his trademark was there in black.

"_What a pompous! He wears his own symbol on everything he wears!"_ For some apparent reason, the king wearing the mouse head on everything he wears angered Sora.

"This is an important story. This will explain what's happening, and why we called you here. Any questions before we start?" Mickey explained.

Sora raised his hand, but the King ignored him and started talking again. "Alright, good now let me begin." The King clapped his hands and all the lights went dim. Then he pulled out a flashlight, and started talking in a deep scary sounding voice, that made Pluto bark, and run out of the room.

"Are you scared?" he yelled it, loud enough to make Kairi scream. His voice was cold and deep. Everyone was scared of the sudden change in the King … Everyone except for Riku and Sora.

"Hey big ears, get on with it." shouted Sora. He was tired of waiting.

"Yeah, we've been waiting." said Riku. Riku put his arm around the back of Kairi, then he felt Sora's arm.

They looked at each other, and said: "My arm was here first!" They said it at the exact same time. Then Sora stood up, and said:

"Kairi let's sit somewhere not next to Riku." He had had it with Riku. Riku was a pest. And nothing more, in fact, Sora wished Riku was still in the realm of darkness!

"But I like this spot." replied Kairi. She was whining. She often became like this when Sora was around.

Then Sora looked deep into her eyes and said "Alright. We'll stay here… But I get your shoulders!" Everyone gasped.

"Sora!" yelled Goofy he was shocked. The Sora he knew would never say that.

Riku looked at Sora, and put his hand on Kairi's lap. _"Who cares? I get her shoulders!"_ Sora smiled, and sat next to Kairi. He put his arm on her shoulders, but she pushed them off. Sora gasped. "Fine." he scooted away from her, and sat alone away from everyone else.

_"He's such a baby. Is that how he deals with his problems?" _Riku thought negatively.

"Alright, now for the story, now listen a bit. The story I'm about to tell you happened along time ago. But I fear the villain of this tale has returned." The King got comfy in his chair, and then his voice was deep and scary again. "It all started on a stormy evening…"

"Actually it was a sunny evening, there were clouds though." interrupted the Queen.

"What ever…" The King continued. "There was a smell of mischief in the air. And Evil was at works… There were three young Keyblade bearers. Each with their own Keyblade… One named Aqua, Ven, and another one."

"What was his name?" questioned Riku.

"That's not important" Mickey responded. He continued, "They were to go fight against a powerful Wizard. A Wizard after Kingdom Hearts…"

"Why?" Riku interrupted again.

"Shut up, and let him tell the story!" Sora replied to Riku.

"Yeah!" said everyone in the room at the exact same time.

"I'm not quite sure…" replied the King, scratching his hairy chin. "Anyways, the three knights charged to him, but he proved to great of an enemy, for he could use magic far more powerful and fearful than you could ever imagine. Making every attempt they could, the knights failed their mission in defeating the Wizard. He froze Ven, and dropped him off a cliff."

"So…He's dead?" questioned Kairi.

"I never said that. He can only move his eyes to the other knights to signal he's still alive."

"_Well, of course he won. He froze the dude." _thought Sora he too was rubbing his chin.

"The Magician summoned Kingdom Hearts, his reasons unknown. But, he was dressed as close as I've ever seen to Ansem, if not the same way. So, I interrupted his summoning, in a battle that I won."

"You… Alone?" asked Kairi, politely raising her hand.

"Well… I kind of cheated."

"You did!?! That's awesome! How?" questioned Sora with excitement.

"I just kicked him in the groin." The stated proudly he grin grew on his face. Everyone fell silent.

Kairi broke the silence, and said: "That's mean."

"And freezing a young man, and dropping him off a cliff is considered polite?" The King snapped back. "I'm not done…" He pulled out a pipe and started to light it, he got comfy in his chair and blew three smoke rings that changed color. "The old man fled from me, but he couldn't run very well, so he teleported to some place I'm not aware of. I closed Kingdom Hearts with my Keyblade, and went to check on the three knights. But all of them were gone, including the frozen Ven." He tried to blow another smoke ring, but choked on it and started to cough violently.

"Weird." mumbled Sora, ignoring the Kings suffering. "Your majesty, this all very interesting, but what does it have to do with the Magician and the knights?" asked Sora.

The King managed to gain control of his lungs again, and spoke, "Well, when I returned to the castle three of the Corner Stones were gone!"

"Three? How many are there?"

"Seven, but we have four here."

"Wow… But what does that have to do with anything?!?" asked Sora who was now scratching his head.

"Hang on, I'll get to that. This is why I called you three down here to see if you would help my two minions go and find out who these three knights are, what the magician wants, and where the Cornerstones are."

"Wait… If you don't know who the knights are, then how do you know their names?" Kairi asked.

"That's something, I'll keep to myself." Kairi moaned, she wanted answers. Everyone did, the story the King told made almost no sense to them. Who were these mysterious knights? And how did they get Keyblades? But most important, who was this Magician the king spoke of?

"But your majesty, doesn't that there Cornerstone of light weigh a ton?" asked Goofy by raising his hand in the air.

The King scratched his head. "That's the confusing part." He stood up, and got out of his Throne, and started to walk back and forth.

"So… When do we leave?" questioned Riku.

"You mean you'll do it?" asked Mickey. His eyes widened.

"Well, yeah. I mean… We came here to help didn't we?"

"I did." responded Kairi.

"Me too!" Sora stood up, to show his manliness. Riku did the same shortly after.

"Great." The King said to his self. He stopped walking, and stood in front of everyone, he examined them. Kairi was still sitting; Sora and Riku were trying to act sexy. Donald was playing a game on his portable game system, Goofy was standing with Riku and Sora, but he was saluting the King. Jiminy was eating candy. "Alright… I'll give you three a room to share tonight… We'll leave in three days."

"We'll share?!?" exclaimed Kairi, a bit nervous.

"Is there something wrong with it dear?" questioned Minney. She still had that dumb smile on her face.

"No…" Kairi whispered to herself, just loud enough for the Queen to hear her response. _I'll be stuck with two boys, who both like me… That sucks._

"I'll show them to their room!" declared Donald.

"Me too!" Goofy said.

"It's the room next to the Kitchen." Mickey told Donald.

"Let's go!" Donald and Goofy led the three out of the room, leaving only Minnie, Mickey, and Jiminy (who was now unconscious) in the room.

"Well, you just got home, and you're going on another quest?" frowned the Queen.

"Yes, but I fear this one might prove difficult." The King replied, staring into his wife's eyes. Then they started making out.

A/N: That's the third chapter. If you're wondering what Mickey is talking about, Enter in to your address bar, the following

w.w.w.y.o.u.t.u.b.e.c.o.m./?v8wtQ72JwIE

But you have to remove the dots between the w-m

_Fanfic Phantom_


	4. A Hard Teacher

CHAPTER FOUR

A Hard Teacher

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Square-Enix or Walt Disney, or Touch Stone pictures. Or twentieth Century Fox, or New Line Cinema, or Lucas Arts, or any crap from George Lucas, or DreamWorks._

The next day at the Castle wasn't filled with luxury, no; they were filled with brutal training from the King on Riku, and Sora. The King however, wasn't the most patient teacher; every time Sora or Riku would make a mistake he would say "Wrong!" Then he would whack their hands with a wooden spoon.

The exercises weren't simple; they were filled with complex questions that put Sora's and Riku's mind to the max in thinking. But, they still failed to answer the questions.

"You're both pathetic! Come back when you're both men! I don't understand how the Keyblade would choose you guys!" he slammed the door as they walked out of the training room, it was late afternoon now, one whole day wasted on their cut up hands.

"Sora, I'm surprised by how patient you were." Riku complimented Sora. Sora was shocked that Riku would pay _him_ a compliment. So, Sora decided that he would play nice back.

"Nah, you're just saying things," he laughed, giving Riku a playful punch to the shoulder.

"Hey, keep you're hands off me." Riku responded, his face suddenly serious. He stared at Sora for a brief moment, and then he cracked up laughing. Sora laughed too. It seemed that they were slowly becoming friends again. They laughed for a while in the middle of the hallway to the throne room, and then they decided they would go find Kairi.

After searching for Kairi for a while and not finding her, they decided that they should ask the Queen if she had seen her.

When they found the Queen, they were both shocked but happy by the sight of what they saw, there, in the courtyard was Queen Minnie, and Kairi, on sun benches, tanning in bikinis.

"Wow," the two of them said at the exact same time.

_That's hot, _thought Sora.

_I didn't need to see Minnie like that, _thought Riku.

"Hey guys," Kairi said with a smile. "How was practice?"

"I think the King broke my thumb," whined Sora.

"It's my wrist that hurts," Riku added, rubbing his wrists.

"Which one?" laughed Kairi; she laughed so hard, that she turned red. Sora couldn't tell if it was from sunburn or not.

After dinner, the three of them went to bed.

The next day Sora was soar, as was Riku. The King rudely woke the three of them up at four in the morning, interrupting Sora's dream about him and Kairi.

"Wake up! I've got some news for you two, come to the training grounds, I want you there in ten minutes!" The King stomped out of the room angrily, Riku heard him swear a few times.

_Wonder what's made him in such a bad mood._

Sora didn't take time to ponder on the King's temper, so he went back to sleep… until something wet hit him in the eye. He opened it to see Kairi, had spat on his eye. "What was that for?" he asked angrily, wiping the saliva off his eye lid.

"The King wants you at the training grounds, so go. Riku left already, and I don't want him coming back in here to wake me up again; so go," she quickly fell back into a quiet sleep.

Sora got dressed, and went to the training grounds, there he found Mickey, Riku, and a man in a blue cloak with stars on it. "Who's the new guy?" asked Sora as he approached the three, rubbing his eye to wake himself.

"It's been awhile Sora," replied the figure, removing his hood to reveal an old face, with a long white beard. A tall blue pointed hat with yellow stars appeared on the old man's head.

"You look strangely familiar, have we met?" questioned Sora.

"It's me! Yen Sid!!!" cried Yen Sid, slapping the back of Sora's head. "I'm the one who gave you those new clothes! Remember?"

"No," replied Sora. The old man grumbled and turned to the King.

"So, you want me to teach them?" he asked the King.

"No. Minnie does, she thinks I can't teach right!" cried the King.

"It's true," whispered Riku to Sora. The two other men didn't seem to notice the comment and kept on talking. Sora massaged the back of his head, where Yen Sid had hit him was sore, the old man seemed to be extremely powerful.

After a few words, Mickey went and sat down on a chair, his face red with anger. Yen Sid stood before the two boys. He mumbled a few words, and a wooden sword appeared in his hands. "Now, we have two days. If I can talk to the King, we'll have three, but, I have currently two days to teach you two fools how fighting really works."

_This punk thinks he can fight, _thought Sora.

_I heard that. _The old mans voice appeared in Sora's head, he could talk to him!

"Hey! Stay out of my mind!" barked Sora angrily.

"Your mind is as mine."

"What?"

"He's very wise," Riku frowned, sitting down.

"Alright, let's see what you're made of," said Yen Sid, signaling Sora to attack him.

"The boy has an injured hand," replied the King. Sora nodded his head in agreement. He didn't want to hurt an old man.

"I once fought two days with an arrow in me," the old man responded, holding his wooden sword.

The King rolled his eyes at the man, he remembered those days.

Sora shrugged, he figured that the old geezer would die after one hit, he ran towards him and slashed downward with the Keyblade at Yen Sid's head. But the old man caught the blade, and threw Sora to the ground, pointing his sword at Sora's throat.

"You cheated, why are you hitting me? You are just looking to beat me?" growled Sora.

"You're enemies don't hold back on you, so why should I?"

"This reminds me a lot of a book I once read," said Riku, standing up now. He pointed his blade at Yen Sid. "Come."

"As you wish, but remember, I have white hair too." The words of the wise man shocked Riku, for what he spoke was clearly true. The man started to run towards Riku with inhuman speed.

_He's fast!_ The old man swung his sword at Riku in the abdominal area, pushing Riku back a couple of feet. Riku gasped for air, but the man knocked the living day lights out of him.

"You're going to kill us!" shouted Sora, "Look at him! He can't breathe!" cried Sora.

"No…" Riku slowly stood up, but he could barely stand, he stabbed his blade in the floor, and rested on the pommel. There was drop of blood on the side of his mouth. He used his thumb to wipe away, he smiled. He tried charging the old man again, this time though when they met up close he slid under the man, holding his blade up so it would go between Yen Sid's legs.

The man jumped into the air, and behind Riku. He ran to him, and before Riku could get back up, he hit him across the back of the head, knocking him out.

"You fiend! You're no wizard, you're the Devil!" shouted Sora, he pointed the Keyblade at the "devil" and shouted "Ice!" A rock of ice the size of a basketball flew at Yen Sid. He held out his hand, caught the ice and ate it.

Sora was shocked, he tried to charge the old man, but his legs couldn't move. _What's…Happening?_

_You're fear is too great so you cannot move. Why weren't you like this when you fought Xemnas?_

_I… I…Don't know._

_Because you are weak! _the old man snapped.

_I want to be strong…_

_Desire is the first step, next you must work for it._

"But how?" shouted Sora.

"Fight me."

"I can't…"

"Then leave, no wonder the King couldn't train you! You're worse than he was!" he pointed at the door, "Get out of my sight.

"Fine!" shouted Sora running out the door, he ran into the room, and rudely woke Kairi, telling her everything that happened.

"And you left Riku there?!?" she cried.

"What about me?"

"You weren't knocked out cold!" she ran out of the room to the training grounds, and found Riku talking and laughing with Master Yen Sid. She walked to them slowly, and asked "What's going on? I thought you were knocked out!" she hugged Riku, and gave Yen Sid a dirty look.

"I know your thoughts, I went easy on the two of them so they wouldn't die," the old man said to Kairi at an attempt to make her feel better.

_You know what I'm thinking?_ Kairi thought sarcastically.

_Indeed, I do_

"Whoa!" said Kairi stepping away from the two men. She was surprised that the magician could actually communicate with her. She stepped back again. "Who are you?"

"Sora didn't tell you?" asked Riku.

"No." she replied, the word came out slowly and carefully. She wasn't sure if this wizard could control her.

"My name is Yen Sid. I am the King's teacher."

The words came to Kairi like cold water, she stepped back, realizing how powerful Mickey must be, and more important, how powerful this _wizard_ must be. "Then you taught him how to fight?"

"Indeed," the man's face saddened, but he quickly went back to his regular boring face.

"Well, then. I will not interfere with your training then." Said Kairi, bowing. She said her farewells and left the grounds, so Riku could train undisturbed.

After she had left, Riku spoke saying, "So, should we start again?"

"No… go get the punk, and we will start again. But not until then." Riku frowned. IF he was to go looking for Sora it would take awhile, he was always the best at Hide and Seek. Riku was a terrible Seeker, and a terrible hider… Actually he just sucked at Hide and Seek.

Riku began his search in the Library, but he found not a trace of Sora. Then he looked in all one hundred and forty four bathrooms, then in the Throne Room, and then in the Gummi Garage, and then the Courtyard; but there was still no sign of Sora. By now it was afternoon. He was about to give up, when he decided to check their bedroom, he found Sora there sitting on his bed, listening to his music and head banging.

By now of course, his temper was very big. He spent an entire day searching the Castle. But, he let his anger slide when he saw Kairi lying on her bed facing the T.V. watching Television. He smiled… even though neither of them noticed him in the room.

He tapped Sora on the back of the head. Sora didn't notice, so he did it again, a little harder. Still no response, so he did it again and again till he just had to punch Sora in the head. "What the heck?" growled Sora.

"I've been looking for you all day! Let's go train!" shouted Riku.

Sora smiled a cruel smile, and stood up. He turned his music off, and set his music player on a table next to his bed.

"This bed isn't big enough for the two of us." he said.

"Sick!" shouted Riku and Kairi at the same time.

"No! That's not what I meant!" replied Sora, he had to cover up the mistake he had made in front of Kairi, especially when it was something like that.

"Oh forget it…" mumbled Sora, leaving the room with his face facing down. Riku followed. They didn't speak a word to each other on the way to the Training Grounds.

When they arrived at the Grounds, Master Yen Sid wasn't there. They found a chair, with a arrow on it, with a letter attached.

They read the letter together, it said:

_You guys take to long, so I went back home. You're impossible to train, besides, you don't need it. You've defeated Xemnas, and now you're going after the Chasers, beware though, this won't be easy._

_Anyways, here's some advice Sora, learn respect for others, and shut up. Riku, I'm proud of you. You have more potential than the brat, but give him a few weeks and he'll be fine._

_May your Keyblades find a Keyhole,_

_-Master Yen Sid_

After reading the letter, the first thing the two of the boys did was laugh hysterically. "May your Keyblades find a Keyhole! How stupid!" laughed Riku.

"I know, he's pretty dumb for a wizard!" Sora slapped Riku's shoulder, Riku did the same. They walked to their room with arms around each others shoulders, laughing.

_**A/N: Okay, that chapter was kind of dumb, if you don't already know, this chapter was making fun of the book Eragon, and also the battle scenes in this chapter were just mocking anime fighting, which was mainly Rurouni Kenshin, because that manga and anime rocks. Anyways, the story is going to start to pick up here, so adios until we meet again.**_

_**May your Keyblades find a Keyhole! (Yeah right.)**_

_**The FanFic Phantom**_


	5. A New World

CHAPTER FIVE

A New World

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Square-Enix or Walt Disney, or Touch Stone pictures. Or twentieth Century Fox, or New Line Cinema, or Lucas Arts, or any crap from George Lucas, or DreamWorks._

**THE** final day came like a rushing river… in other words, it came really fast. They woke early, and got dressed for the journey that would come. By Sora's bed, he found a letter from Mickey instructing the three of them to go and meet him at The Library.

When they arrived, they found Donald, Goofy, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, and Jiminy, all sitting next to the fireplace in cushioned chairs, talking. Kairi walked towards Minnie, "Good morning," she said with a smiled.

The Queen replied to her, and they instantly began to go into their own conversation. "So, majesty, when and where are we going?" questioned Riku, sitting in an "empty" chair that actually held Jiminy in it.

"Well, you'll be leaving in about an hour or so, and where you'll be going, I still have no clue," he started to pull out a pipe, and try to light it, but accidentally burnt a hole in his glove.

"You don't know?!?" Sora interrupted into the conversation, slamming his hands down onto a nearby table creating a loud bang.

"Calm down, I have the coordinates, to a place far far away. I know there is magic at the place. But you'll have to go and see for yourself what kind of magic it is. So, I want you guys and girl to go and investigate in this area, which will hopefully give us some information on the knights, magician, and the disappearance of the cornerstones."

"I still don't like it," replied Sora.

"We know you don't like it," Riku added.

"So, uh, King, if that there planet has the cornerstone of light, then what do we do?" asked Goofy, walking next to the King.

"Improvise!" shouted Donald, walking next to Goofy, who was standing next to King Mickey, who was sitting down on a chair next to Riku, who Sora was standing next to.

"No, you'll contact me using the Gummi Ships new calling system, and I'll send in a couple of ships to transport it back to the Castle and put it into a concealed area, that no one can get into," Mickey said, with his lighten pipe in hand.

"Since when do you smoke?" asked Sora.

The King raised an eyebrow at the question; he was going to answer the question when someone interrupted him.

"You smoke?!?" it was a quiet small voice that seemed to be coming from Riku's bottom. Everyone looked at him, Riku even looked at himself. He stood up, to reveal a flat Jiminy.

"Sorry," he said to him.

"About what?" asked Jiminy.

"Never mind," laughed Riku. No one else laughed, except for Jiminy.

"Anyways, you guys better get ready," said the King, standing up, and leaving the room. The Queen shortly followed, which left Donald, Goofy, Jiminy, Riku, and Sora in the room, along with Kairi.

Kairi approached the group of boys with a smile on her face. "So, when are we leaving?" she asked, clueless to what had just been said.

"We're leaving in an hour or so, to an unknown planet that is far far away, which means you'll be sitting in the Gummi ship for a couple of hours," replied Sora, trying to sound as negative as possible.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but it's not going to be that bad," smiled Goofy.

"How do you know?" asked everyone else in the room except Jiminy.

"Well, we're going to a place far far away, and we know what we're doing, we've been up and down, and up again! We've been here and there, and around and about! We're the hope of the King! **We're his troops!!"**

"What are you talking about?" questioned Sora, raising his brow.

"Well, we needed a dramatic speech before we left on this great trip of ours," mumbled Goofy, looking at the ground.

"Whatever…"

"Well, let's go," said Riku, leaving the room, signaling Kairi to follow him.

Kairi shrugged, and followed him, she felt much better with one guy who liked her, then another and a dog, and a duck, and a… strange cricket. Sora followed her shortly, leaving the three others in the room.

Goofy started to walk away, when Donald said, "Wait! Don't leave me in here with Jiminy!"

"Aw, okay. I'll stay in here with him. You go ahead Donald. You can leave me and Jiminy, all alone…"

"Thank you!" said Donald dashing for the door. He left, by slamming the door, which scared Jiminy into an unconscious state.

-

**BEFORE **they knew it, they were already in the Gummi ship, they lifted off quickly, this time Riku and Kairi weren't half as afraid of the Gummi ship, except for when the radio would randomly turn on and off. Kairi would ask what that was, and Sora would explain that the service was low, or just say that it was a piece of crap.

And sometimes, they would start to receive incoming calls from the castle, but there would be so much static it sounded like a dying cow, and Riku would panic. No one knew why. But personally, I think it was because his hair would stick up, and he found it embarrassing in front of Kairi. He had to look his best for her. His silver hair was a huge advantage, but he personally found Sora's hair style more attractive than his. He would eventually have to get a hair cut.

Along the trip Donald had to explain the rules of entering another planet to Riku and Kairi. Since this was their first time on a mission with the Goofy, Donald, and Sora. It would also be the first time they entered another planet, by Gummi ship.

"If you enter another planet that you're not from, than you don't let anyone else know that you're not from the planet that you are currently on," the duck explained.

"Why?" Riku asked.

"Because, we don't want people freaking out that you might be an alien or something like that."

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense, but won't they realize it after a while? With how our clothes are and stuff?" Kairi added.

"Well, yes, but that's why we buy some new clothes and costumes for disguise. Except, Sora's clothes change by itself. It's magic you know."

"I like to wear kilts," chuckled Goofy, placing his right hand over his large teeth to hide them. He suddenly, realized how big they were, and found it an embarrassment,

Everyone went quiet, and Sora again, broke the silence with one of his insults. "You're gay, you know that right?"

Everyone gasped, except for Kairi, who actually laughed slightly, that's right! She actually laughed at one of Sora's insults. Seeing that she thought it was funny, Riku quickly tried to make it look like he too thought it was funny, but everyone knew that he was only trying to impress Kairi.

After a brief moment of silence, Donald continued explaining, saying "Anyways, another rule you need to know, is that you can't get involved with anything, at all with the civilians of the planet. Unless, they're one of us, meaning that they're with the King's men, or the King told us it's safe to talk to them. Of course, the planet we're going to has none of _us_. So just act like you're from the planet, and don't get involved with anything."

"Yeah, that would be modeling," added Goofy, nodding his head to make himself look smarter.

"Meddling!" shouted Donald. "It's MEDDLING! NOT MODELING! I'M GOING TO HURT YOU IF YOU DON'T GET IT RIGHT, STUPID!" Donald was shouting at the top of his lungs, and Goofy wasn't even paying attention.

"Yeah, get a dictionary," laughed Riku, who had his arm around Kairi, she looked at him, and pushed his arm off of her. The comment was rude, Kairi didn't stand for any of that from Riku, Sora you could get used to, but not Riku… There was something different about him, rude didn't match his character. Then, she cuddled with him…not really.

Sora watched the two of them with envy, but gritted his teeth to stop himself from doing or saying anything in front of Kairi, he knew that he had to stay cool if he was going to win her heart, but, it was hard to do this when Riku openly mocked him in front of her, by flirting with her. Riku knew how to make Sora mad, and he did it on purpose in front of Kairi, to make her like him less.

They flew for a couple of hours, and still no sign of a planet. Sora just barely walked out of the new small restroom in the back of the ship, when he saw Goofy, trying to open the window. "What are you doing?" he shouted.

"Well, Jiminy said he needed some air, so I'm gonna give him some," replied the dog, continuing to try and break the window open.

"Stop! You'll kill us all, there's no air in space, and opening that window will kill us all!" he ran and pushed Goofy out of his chair and put the window on child's lock. _That should hold him back, unless, he tries to break the window… Nah._

Sora went and sat in his seat again, he sighed, and put his hands on his face. He looked at Kairi and Riku, and she slapped him in the face.

"I didn't mean it!" shouted Riku, as she walked away, and sat next to Sora.

"What happened?" he asked her nervously.

"Riku can be mean," she replied, folding her arms.

"Everyone gets angry, believe me."

"I can't argue with that."

_Thanks…_thought Sora sarcastically,

A few minutes later, Donald picked up on radar a planet up ahead, "Halleluiah!" he cried. "We're finally going to get out of this hell ship!"

Sora looked out the window to get a glimpse of the planet. It wasn't very large, there were several large islands on it. The view wasn't very clear, because several clouds covered the land.

"We can land on that continent that looks like Riku's head," pointed Sora, everyone laughed, except for Riku, who was highly offended, and ran into the bathroom.

"I agree, that's a good spot, and it's not far from where the King told us to land," agreed Donald, and Goofy.

-

**Landing** on the planet was difficult, as Kairi again was screaming her heart out, due to the heavy turbulence. Jiminy, was bouncing everywhere, because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt. He eventually landed in Goofy's mouth.

When they finally landed, everyone ran out of the ship to see the new world… everyone except for Sora, who was busy, grabbing some muffins for the road.

Sora walked out of the ship, the sun blinded him, but he could quickly regain sight to see a terrible sight. There were several men in plated armor, Two men held Goofy, and Donald. Jiminy, had a chain choker around his neck.

Kairi, and Riku were held back by two other guards. _What the? _thought Sora, he looked around, to see several creatures in a line, being sold! He saw three little talking pigs, little men with white beards, bears with glasses. _This is weird._

A man in armor approached Sora, he armor clanked with each step he took. Sora gulped, and started to back away, when two other men grabbed him to prevent him from running anywhere…

_**A/N: Alright, so it's been awhile since I last updated, but I have reasons, remember, I have a life too.**_

_**So, I got this new chapter up, but to be honest, I just rushed through it, so if it seemed lame, that's probably the reason… unless, there's another reason such as Sora being to jealous, and I apologize for that, I'm working on ways to make him and Riku, and Kairi all get along, but it's not as easy as it sounds.**_

_**I literally rewrote this chapter at least seven times, which is why I just started to rush through it, and I'm **__**still **__**not satisfied with how it turned out, but the school year is over, so now I've got A LOT more time to update and write and do my stuff!**_

_**Anyways, sorry about this chapter, and I hope to see another chapter, just not so… lame. And hopefully, it won't take so long to update this next chapter.**_

_**Until we meet again, stay beautiful.**_

_**The FanFic Phantom**_


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